“Fear cuts deeper than swords!” Part II.

If you don’t wanna fear something anymore you’ll have to confront it.

In the previous post I was telling you that I fear people. Now I’ll tell you what I fear the most. It’s still people. To be more precisely just one person…. Me! I fear me!

I would define myself as a simple person with a very complicated mind. So complicated that not even I could figure it out. I don’t know what I want but I get angry if I don’t have it. Wait…those are women we are talking about. Oh my, double trouble.

It’s a infinite struggle having to prove to yourself sometimes that you are wrong. I think that it could be one of those “heart vs. mind” or “want vs. need” thing. We are all battling with our demons, we are all confronting them and we lose so many battles but it takes courage to continue and win the war. In the same time courage requires a dose of rationality, rationality requires focus/thinking twice/assessing risk, and how are we suppose to focus with so many demons attacking us? The most frightening thing about this it’s the fact that the demons look exactly like me. I’m fighting with my inner clones.

I know my flaws and I’m not afraid to admit them. I said I fear myself cause I’m the most severe person with me. I don’t judge others, I judge myself in a very harsh way.

Good thing I realized that the child inside me is growing and that the me-teacher noticed that I’m not made of stone. How can I complain that I don’t understand others when I don’t even understand myself, or at least understood. But you know what they always say….Never lose hope and I hope that one day I’ll see a white flag between my heart and my mind. šŸ™‚

2 thoughts on ““Fear cuts deeper than swords!” Part II.

  1. I hear you! I’ve struggled with fear for a long time, and also have a highly active mind which causes me to think about scenarios way beyond my control. I have gotten myself to a point where I am relatively relaxed at the minute, by accepting that the human mind is a very powerful thing and that none of us can fully understand what goes on in our own heads. Crazy, but true.

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